Thinking about it
by obsessivelyfanaticgw09
Summary: ***Melinda finds out someone she knows is going to die. After so many other times where these warnings have come true, what is she thinking now?***One-Shot


**A couple Fridays ago, (Feb 5th, Dead to me) the episode ended with Melinda finding out that someone she knows is going to die.**

**This is a one-shot on her feelings after the episode was over. Warnings she has gotten before, like for Jim from the watches and the five signs for her own death, have come true, and Melinda is really afraid…**

**I do not own ghost whisperer or any of the ghost whisperer characters. **

**Enjoy!**

I couldn't sleep last night. I know Jim wouldn't of been able to either if he hadn't worked so hard last week. He was just as terrified as me…

Laying there that night sleeplessly, I had time to think, and I hated that.

The initial feeling that I had after I asked if it was someone we knew, and that thing pointed right at yes, it was horrible. First, I think my heart skipped a beat and I turned to Jim. He was just staring at the board, with that terrified look on his face. He had then reached over and pulled the pointer off the board before I could ask anything else, that might be for the better. I told him to get rid of it and I hid the board. Mostly because I didn't want Aiden getting to it again. If the ghost wanted to talk to me, it wouldn't be able to hide behind that anymore.

Who was the ghost? And why doesn't he just show himself already? I thought it was Madison, but she crossed over. Did she ever even use the board? Maybe it was the other ghost all along, I'm just not sure…

Of course, maybe its not a ghost at all. Maybe its just the shadows trying to scare me. _God I hope so._

But then again, it could also be the watchers, and the last time they warned me about something….

I was still awake this morning when Jim got up for work. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Not noticing I was awake, he walked out of the room.

And it was silent… and lonely.

_What if it was him?_

All the pain… oh it just flooded back. Losing Jim _again?_ It was such a horrible feeling! No! He'd gone through too much to come back to me, too much…

I hadn't thought about that in a while. About Sam, I mean. I guess its because I don't see Sam anymore, I see Jim. I see his wavy black hair and his dreamy blue eyes, his tall strong figure. I can't lose that… not again.

I stood up, I had to get my mind off of this!!! I walked over to the dresser, sat down on the little chair, and looked at myself in the mirror. Even through tired eyes, I could see how dark they were and how my hair was an absolute mess.

Jim walked back into the room then, surprised that I was awake. I turned around.

"Not sleep well?" He asked in a low voice. I nodded.

"I'm scared," I whispered, "I really am." He came over and wrapped me in a hug. The warmth made things a little better.

"It's ok babe," He whisperer in my ear. He backed away and held my shoulders.

The tiredness had finally gotten to me and I cried. Sometimes, I just hate being so emotional. He wiped a tear off of my cheek. He knows I don't like that, but he did it anyway-and I was ok with that.

"It's just someone trying to scare you," He said in a voice that, for the first time ever, sounded a little unconfident.

"Well it worked!" I said loudly, too loudly. Jim nodded and kissed me on the forehead.

"Just forget about it and have a good day."

_That'll be easy_

I nodded and watched him walk to the door, he stopped in the threshold and blew me a kiss. "Go back to sleep," He said "I love you,"

"You too," I mumbled, not having much energy to say much else. He smiled his oh-so comforting smile and walked down stairs.

After I heard the front door close, I stood up, got dressed, and made my way down stairs to make coffee, because there is no way that I will be able to get back to sleep.

Aiden would be up soon. Ugh, we have to go to the shop today, Delia and Ned are helping with a huge estate sale. That does not sound fun at the moment, nothing does.

I must have been staring out of the kitchen window and sipping my coffee for an hour because soon I heard the pat of feet coming down the stairs.

Aiden shuffled through the living room and into the kitchen. "There you are, Mom," He said when he saw me standing there. I turned to him and struggled to smile, "Morning baby."

"Breakfast?" He asked, rubbing his eye. I nodded and he walked back into the living room to watch TV. But I still didn't move for a few minutes…

I ended up thinking about it again.

_It had said soon, death of someone I knew…soon._

How soon is soon? Today? Next month? I just didn't know, I didn't know anything…

_But I knew that I couldn't stop it._

Isn't that the worst? Knowing about something and not being able to stop it? It's a sickly feeling in your stomach and your throat and it burns your eyes. It makes you feel helpless, like anything can happen in the world and there's nothing at all you can ever do about it.

_Aiden, what about Aiden?_

The thought came so suddenly, and it made me sick, I wanted to cry. It can't be, _can't be, can't be _Aiden! I tried not to cry, Aiden would wonder why and I don't think there's a way I could explain this to him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and placed two waffles in the toaster.

When they popped I brought them out to the dining room and started to call for Aiden to come eat. But for whatever reason, I couldn't… Instead I walked into the living room and watched him watch TV. So small, so wonderful, so special, and, ugh… I just can't stand to lose him.

Hardly without knowing it I ran over and hugged him, tears running down my cheek. "Mommy? Are you ok?" He wondered as I practically squeezed the life out of him.

"No baby, nothings wrong," I whispered.

"Then why are you crying?" He asked, with that innocent, small voice of his. I stood up and struggled to recover.

"No, nothing," I wiped my cheek with the sleeve of the cotton sweater I had put on over my soft colored dress this morning. "Just go eat," I patted him on the back. He stood up.

"Ok," He walked slowly to the dinning room, looking awfully concerned.

It wasn't long until Aiden and I were walking through Same As It Never Was's welcoming doors, where Delia and Ned greeted us.

Delia smiled her warm smile and for a split second I imagined that being… gone. Or Ned? So young and eager. I must have been looking at them oddly because Delia asked me, "Mel? What's wrong?"

I snapped out of it, or at least tried to.

"Uh, no, I'm fine" I managed to choke out. Should I tell her? That her or her son could be in danger because of something I had heard from a ghost? I don't want to scare her, especially when it could be nothing… or so I keep trying to tell myself. But doesn't she have a right to know?

I ran to the back before anyone could ask anymore questions. I set down the bag I had brought on the floor and sat down at the desk back there.

Somebody I love… could be gone. And I could do nothing but stand and watch. Why did this happen to me?

All those years ago, when I was warned by the 5 signs.

_Death of a loved one._

That time, that was me. Could it be me?

Tears came again. I was tired, scared, and I felt lost. Nothing would of felt better right then than a big hug from Jim.

I sobbed. Sank down out of my chair and onto the floor. Jim or Aiden, Delia or Ned. Maybe Eli.

_God, I hadn't thought about him._

Maybe my Mom, or one of Jim's friends.

Anyone-it could be anyone.

"Get a hold of yourself Melinda!" I said out-loud, throwing my head back. I stood up and sat back on the chair. The pain still hurt, it's happened too many times before-and never ended well.

I set my head down on the table, in my arms, still a steady stream of tears falling, and I thought about my day…

And here I am, so confused and scared, and feeling pathetic.

"Melinda?" It's Delia, in her mother voice. She's close. I'm not looking up.

"Mel, I know there's something wrong, you can't hide it from me." Yeah, I know that-I have to tell her.

"I'm scared," I mumbled, she's silent, she doesn't understand. I can hear her coming closer. Now her arms are around me. "What is it Melinda?" She whispered.

"I'm scared, and there's nothing I can do, just wait…" I sniffed. "Just wait."

**I guess we'll all have to just wait.**

**Hope you liked!**

**One-shots are fun! I might end up writing more.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**And review!!!**


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